19 January 2002
Over the holidays the Internet marketing spivs managed to hook into my email address at home. I am now being deluged by junk mail, or spam, as we Netheads call it.
In one week I have been offered bigger, firmer breasts that look natural; a chance to win a Florida Vacation Getaway; a free fix for my tax problems with the US Internal Revenue Service; a drug-free ``total attack" program that aggressively combats hair loss; and unbelievably cheap home loans (``five banks are competing for my business!").
But wait, there's more. A former Viagra pharmacist has created a revolutionary herbal pill that will increase my penis size by three inches or more in just a few short weeks!
If I take two pills every day, my penis will grow in length and thickness by a whopping 26 per cent, guarenteed (sic). It's an offer no red-blooded bloke could refuse, especially combined with the New Medical Break Through Pill to increase Semen and EJACULATION by almost 600 per cent in, yes, just a few short weeks.
Absent-minded as I am these days, I do have one niggling worry. What happens if you accidentally overdose ? It is a terrifying thought.
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